Manchester Nov 03

Right, i think it’s about time that we shed some light on the above Mancland misadventure…
…As i am feeling artistic this evening i will communicate through the universal language of rhyme:
Mancland Misadventure (vol.2 part 5.)

we went to mancland to see a gig
not cos we’re clever and not cos we’re big
this is the story of what we did
plenty of alcohol, plenty of cigs
one or two sachets of mayonnaise
we only went for a couple of days
the place where pine needles cost 20 quid
now here is the story of what we did
i got drunk and i burnt off my pubes

ps controller without any lube
whats that Lee? – my feet is rotten
thats something we’ve not forgotten
hey there vanessa, where’ve you been
look at these coins inside my foreskin
i think there’s about ?1 and 60p
i can tell by your face that you can’t resist me
i shouted her name in the middle of the night
then me and alan had a fight

-not for real though we were just messing
shortly before lee’s other confession
where’s the landlord, the toilet’s busted
one or two sachets of english mustard
honestly guys, Danikka just leant on to it
more like she was getting screwed with her arse bent on to it
ever get the feeeling your mates don’t care?
like when you wake up in the morning with ketchup in your hair

oops yes sorry i forgot i did it
while i was asleep i put my hand in it
go and get the cling film and wrap it round my face
quick take a photo cos it looks pretty ace
playstation controllers move in funny ways
especially if screech is tying his shoelace
i can’t really talk though cos what did i do
i stuck an empty bottle up with my poo poo

i’m secure, i’m not gay of course
one or two sachets of  tartar sauce
we had a great time though, a really good craic
so i stayed an extra day and almost got the sack
it was alright though cos my boss then was jim
and if truth be known i was really the boss of him
hurry up lee just a couple of minutes
hes just been sick in the toilet and he’s trying to clean it

whats up dude what made you barf
a porn chick squirting milk out of her arse
hmm lets take scrivs down to canal street
more like you want to look for fresh meat
i think that alan kissing danikka took it a bit far
is that why you took those dobbers from that gay bar?
if you two had a fight then both of you would lose
so pretend that you’ve forgiven him and nick his posh shoes

for all of these antics i feel no remorse
one or two sachets of red and brown sauce
so when you’re next in manchester please spare us all a thought
cos we’re only as daft as how we’ve been taught
if i have any more to report…..
i promise next time i’ll keep it short.
 

( it was cold in that room, its a student house for god’s sake, in fact what are you even doing taking a photo of me in a young lady’s cardigan when i’m not wearing any other clothes?)