In my second year at university we went to a hall party. By this time i was living off-campus a couple of miles away. About half way through the night after spending most of my cast on Snakbite n Black they started giving out the free coctail. Only problem was people were queuing, getting a drink and then walking off. This seemed like a very slow way to get wankered (first years have no idea… tsk).
Instead, i decided to queue up, got a drink and then leaned against the wall next to the table to drink it. When i had pollished off that one, i grabbed another, and another, and another….
After about 20, the bloke running the show noticed what i was doing and told me to piss off. Back to the bar for more snakebite i thought. Only problem was i had just downed 20 coctails and as i was passing the door i suddenly veered off out the door and fell over a bollard. I asked the bouncers if they´d let me back in but they had somehhow found out i was pissed….
Oh well, time to go home i thought and starting the walk back. About half way home there´s a dual carriageway (not if you go the right way home, but i was drunk). After spending ten minutes looking at my shoes, a parked car and finally down the road, i legged it accross. I would have made it all teh way as well if i hadn´t fallen over the central reservation… Luckily the central reservation was all long grass and i ended up looking up at the stars, and so fell asleep.
About an hour later i was woken up by a lorry going past and nearly shit myself. I came to the conclusion it was a stupid place to sleep, got up and ran the rest of the way across the road… back to where i had started. Bollocks. Not wanting to try that again, i decided to go invade a mate´s hall of residence and stay there.
I got up to his hall and while i stood there trying to figure out where his room was, remembered he´d moved a year ago. Arse. Then i remembered they had communial bathrooms and so wandered to the first one and fell asleep in the bath.
I got woken up again about an hour later, but this time by a cranky student wanting a piss and wondering why i was in his bath. Home time i thought. I wandered out of the hall and promtly fell down a bank through some bushes. Luckily i fell into the path of a taxi. Even luckier, i was stopped. I jumped in and found out the bloke spoke "drunk" and so managed to get a lift home.
The moral of the story would appear to be "Don´t eat the yellow snow"
