Wellsy's World

Archive for October, 2004

What a night!  Fright night!  There was strange noises in the toilet, the usual amount of alcohol was flowing, and, oh yes, there was the Halloween Bapage!  We were in the last pub of the night – The Peacock – things were getting messy, i can´t really remember what we talking about, but i can remember seeing Wellsy  talking to Tony and pointing out something over on the other table.  Me being bi-curious thought i´d take a look for myself and what i saw was the most amazing pair of beautifully juicy tits!  They were totally superb, i just wanted them in my hands, i wanted them in my mouth, i´d love to cover them in man cream!  We didn´t know her name, we didn´t need to know her name, all we needed to know was if she´d be coming home with us so we could share the pleasure of fondling her fantastic bappage! 

The funniest thing I heard that night was Tony´s idea for a fancy dress costume.  It goes something like this: "turn up at the party wearing nothing but your underpants, when people ask you what are you supposed to be, you say i´m ´premature ejaculation´, they say what do you mean? and you say well, i´ve just come in my pants!" 

hmmmm… don’t really believe that but:

• 5% Scored lower than you
• 2% Scored the same as you
• 93% Scored higher than you

so it’s not too bad.

Wanna know where this came from?

Take the American test

So i was outside having a beer and a cig and after a while i noticed something was wrong….

Usually after a couple of minutes there is one dog barking on one side and two on the other. Great!

I looked over into one garden and no dogs. Sweet.

I looked over into the other side and not only was there no dog, but no dog kennel. Ace!

I took a moment and enjoyed the silence (well, apart from the police sirens and people having screaming arguments with each other…) then came back in to get another beer and watch the rest of some film with Christina Ricci.

Well, it’s bound to be fairly geeky since thats what i do for a living and it’s Tuesday morning (i think).

But anyway, i broke the mailing out thing and i’m trying to fix it. Hopefully it works now, otherwise you’re all going to keep getting emails all day.

If you do, please email me on bill.gates@microsoft.com to let me know how annoying you think my website is. Cheers

I was reading Blog Ed and noticed the file extension quiz.

Now at this point some people will say ‘Wellsy, you’re being sad and geeky again…’

Well, to them i say – Fuck off, you had better appologise before you next need your PC fixing!

Anyway, I am

Which File Extension are You?

Just because I´m bored i decided to add some colour schemes to the site.
 
The links are down on bottom right. Go wild!

So, this weekend was going to be a good drinking weekend what with it being the 26th birthday of Tons Of Fun.
 
One of the downsides is that I can´t actually remember going to bed at all this weekend…

 
Friday night we just got a few beers in and were going to watch all of the O.C. before the next series starts (i don´t care if you don´t like it – it´s ace so piss off) but ended up going down the Toby inn as well. Carried on drinking when we got back and can´t remember going to bed. One night down, two to go.
 
Next day was Tony´s birthday and the England v Wales match so we headed down the Rose n Crown to watch it. It was packed but it was a good game. Joe nipped down for a bit as well cos he was trying to get out of wedding dress shopping – good plan!
 
About 6pm we headed into town (it´s Monday and my brain is broken, but i can´t remember how we got into town…) for more beers. We went and got some lasagne then headed down to The Old Trip To Jarusalem which is a really good pub (go there – and stop complaining that you live 300 miles away from nottingham, the taxi number is 01159701701). We ended up on snakebite and black and strangely enough… I can´t remember going home. That´s two out of the way with.

 
Sunday was originally going to be a quiet day since Tinky Dick was doing "family stuff" and I had to get up early to let the BT engineer into the office. As it happened Screech rang up to see if we were going down the pub all afternoon. As the old saying goes: "Wellsy, when it comes to beer, you don´t HAVE willpower. Now go to the fridge and get a couple of cans of Fosters", so the three of us ended up in the White Hart about 4-ish (Clint was doing his washing…).
 
I can´t remember anything after the After Shock, let alone going home! I just woke up with this vague feeling of phoning this girl, and up – her number was in my "Dialed Numbers" list. Oops, not again…

 
Looks like its going to have to be a choice between drinking less or head cams. what do you reckon?

Well, it might be true that camcorders and beer dont mix….
 
It might take a few seconds to load
 
 
Watch the video

Right.. I?m a bit tired… mainly because last night was the second night in a row that i fell asleep naturally……sitting upright on Wellsy and Tony?s sofa, but that?s by the by, let?s get on with it:   I don?t know how common knowledge it is but us boys have been boycotting the White Hart for a while now (about 2 months) for a multitude of reasons: –

• Danny is a 19yr old brummie tit


• Annette is as mad as a sack of badgers


• They changed the jukebox into some kind of dog shit that just spews out wank whenever it?s plugged in


• the pool table is the wrong way round and doesn?t take change


• Drinking-up time is at drinking-up time

  – in short the place has gone down hill since Mike and Sarah left (just because you?re from down south doesn?t mean that you have to take the pub down to that sub-level of shite), so we decided to boycott the place and that?s that.   You see, the point is that we?ve been drinking in the White Hart for about 9 years so we understandably became quite attached to it – home is where the Hart is after all. We also worked out that between the 4 of us we were spending over ?1000 a month in there.

 
- This was our bargaining tool;
 
We knew that one of the reasons that Mike left was because of the ?200 a week rent increase by the brewery (sack-suckers) so if we stopped spending our money in there we might just be able to make it fold.
 
- Don´t get me wrong though – we did give them a chance…….
 
…..but i´m afraid that they spoilt the oppurtunity…so we went ahead with the plan.
 
We have the power.

 
They are now closed after 4 months.
 
As we speak the pretenders are packing they´re bags for sunny Birmingham, leaving Ashbourne tomorrow and we should have some new people to play with by the end of next week.
 
We did it.
 
Anything is possible when our powers are combined, like some sort of moralistic children´s cartoon: we fucked the baddies right off.
 

So, Tinky Dick´s dad arranged a sponsered Wheel Barrow Race around the pubs of Ashbourne. The idea was to drink a half of lager in 8 pubs around town and push the barrow in between the pubs than get back to the start as quick as possible!
 
So we got our hawaiian shirts and hats out, signed up and went for it!
If only that was where it ended……….
 
………..so here´s what happened next:
 

Everything was going according to plan,
We were on our way to the Plough after downing our first half and we were winning,
The second half took a little longer than the first but it still went down a treat,  oh ah,
so it´s back in the barra marra and we´re trundling towards the next pub (Cockroach and Horses)
at this point everything´s still peachy, until………
Wellsy was a bit poorly in the barrow ……………………………………and then a bit poorly in the Horns and then a bit poorly in the Legion and then a bit poorly in the Welly and then a lot poorly outside the Welly and then a bit poorly in the Tavern and then we were at the finish, we would have come first as well if it wasn´t for the 5 teams who made it back first.

Then we took it steady……….we went back on to pints.
 
The moral of this story is simple;
Don´t go chasing waterfalls, please stick to the rivers and the lakes that you´re used to,
If you not gonna have it your way then it´s nothing at all,
Don´t you know your driving to fast.

 
mmmmm, mmmmm, yeah, yeah, ooooooooo ooo
- I don´t know about any of you lot but i still think that Lisa Left Eye Lopes is bautiful, even if she is dead.
Peace.