So, Tinky Dick´s dad arranged a sponsered Wheel Barrow Race around the pubs of Ashbourne. The idea was to drink a half of lager in 8 pubs around town and push the barrow in between the pubs than get back to the start as quick as possible!
So we got our hawaiian shirts and hats out, signed up and went for it!
If only that was where it ended……….
………..so here´s what happened next:
Everything was going according to plan,
We were on our way to the Plough after downing our first half and we were winning,
The second half took a little longer than the first but it still went down a treat, oh ah,
so it´s back in the barra marra and we´re trundling towards the next pub (Cockroach and Horses)
at this point everything´s still peachy, until………
Wellsy was a bit poorly in the barrow ……………………………………and then a bit poorly in the Horns and then a bit poorly in the Legion and then a bit poorly in the Welly and then a lot poorly outside the Welly and then a bit poorly in the Tavern and then we were at the finish, we would have come first as well if it wasn´t for the 5 teams who made it back first.
Then we took it steady……….we went back on to pints.
The moral of this story is simple;
Don´t go chasing waterfalls, please stick to the rivers and the lakes that you´re used to,
If you not gonna have it your way then it´s nothing at all,
Don´t you know your driving to fast.
mmmmm, mmmmm, yeah, yeah, ooooooooo ooo
- I don´t know about any of you lot but i still think that Lisa Left Eye Lopes is bautiful, even if she is dead.
Peace.
…. near last orders we ordered a taxi home and clint went to order a burger from across the road.
Then the bar staff said we could have a drink after last orders.
We ignored the taxi but thats ok because we always order taxis under the name Steven Neale.
After we left the lockin at Carys
(there was no lockin officer)
we went to the take away to get his burger but they were closed! clint started knocking on the door but one of the staff was having a fag around the corner and heard us.
Clint said “i ordered a burger about an hour ago”
He said “we closed about an hour ago”
Clint said “i”ve already paid for it. Give me my burger or i”ll call the cops”
He went in to get his burger and brought it to the door.
Clint said “have you spat in it?”
He said “No mate, i haven”t spat in it”
Clint said “bet you”ve all spat in it!”
and they carried in arguing for about five minutes….
In the mean time a cop car had parked up to see what was going on.
The bloke went inside and clint wandered up to the cops and goes “Heh, did you hear all that?”
He then went and tried to convince them to give us a lift home.
They wouldnt but the police woman was fit so its ok.
Good night really