Archive for January, 2005
The reason I am like I am
January 28th, 2005 | 
Author: The radio was on in the car this morning and it was on about Proctor and Gamble taking over Gillette.
My Dad said ‘they’re at the cutting edge’…
Its all genetic i tell ya!
Posted in Uncategorized | 
Comedy gold!
We were (suprise suprise) in the Hart on Sunday night and a certain comedy genious came out with pure gold! (I’ve left the name out so you can all guess who it was).
He was talking to one of the bar maids and said: ‘You should get a boyfriend. Someone who can take you places and buy you presents. Like love balls… I haven’t got any love balls…’.
Brilliant
Toms New Year
This is from the email he sent to me. Thought i’d put it on here cos i’m mean like that
I kind of have a bad history of new years, for example last year I was arrested, so I thought it was about time I told people what I did on my new year. I kind of had an accident involving me, a pane of glass and 13 stitches in my right hand. I?ve just got the cast off, so I?ve included a picy.
When accidents happen there are two types of people. One type calmly runs to get bandages, and quickly drives to the hospital, only taking the wrong turn a few times. The other runs around the car shouting ?fuck, fuck my fucking fuck.? I?ll leave you to decide which one I was.
For those of you who know my bad history with needles, yes I finally had an IV, and it took them 5 attempts to hit my vein since they were collapsed (ie hiding.) I also had a tetanus shot and when the nice nurse rolled me onto my side I span around and shouted ?you?re gonna shove that up my ass aren?t you?? Everyone thought that was very amusing.
For those of you that can count there are only 9 stitches visible, the other 4 are inside the wound, holding the muscle together.
Hope you guys had a better New Years than I
Tom
Are you scared?
Can’t be bothered to put a long story about new year so i’ll just put about what screech said.
He was talking to some bloke that he had only just met. He was being very random and confusing this lad. Then he turned to him, put his hand on his shoulder and said:
‘are you scared, or oddly arroused?’
Brilliant!