Archive for November, 2005

The worst record sleeves of all time!

Ferg just sent me an email with some of the worst album sleeves I´ve ever seen!

 
Have a little looky – Album Sleeves

A chicken is for life, not just for breakfast

Love it

iPod accessories for girls

Found the ideal xmas prezzie for your girlfriend if she´s got a iPod. Just got to get me a girlfriend, uy her an iPod, and then buy her one – with only 30 shopping days left to christmas!
 
iBuzz for iPod

Got my first christmas card

It´s only November but I got my first christmas card the other day. It was from Donk Dean!!
 
He´s getting really good at writing now bless him the wee lad…

My sister was maaad!

Hee hee! Just got a text from my sister calling me an arse cos she found out I´d told her new neighbours she sells drugs to kids (she doesn´t by the way coppos).

 
Don´t know why she´s mad, her neighbours don´t even have kids.
 
Oh and Sarah says you can get syphilis from the supermarket now.

How to flirt with girls on a bus

I was waiting for the bus this morning and I saw this girl looking at me a few times. The bus turned up and she got on first. I got on and was thinking "Hmmm, flirting, how does that work again? Oh yeah, smile at her" so I did. Then she sneezed at me. Damn I´m good.

 
Oh yeah, there was a cowboy on the bus with a southern (UK) accent. Weird…

Shit Joke Of The Day

Mr. Lee was terribly overweight, so his doctor put him on a diet.
 
"I want you to eat regularly for 2 days, then skip a day, and repeat this procedure for 2 weeks. The next time I see you, you´ll have lost at least 5 pounds."
 
When Mr Lee returned, he shocked the doctor by losing nearly 20 pounds. "Why, that´s amazing!" the doctor said, "Did you follow my instructions?"

 
Mr Lee nodded. "I´ll tell you though, I thought I was going to drop dead that 3rd day."
 
"From hunger, you mean?"…..
 
"No, from skipping."…

Paintballing in Brailsford

This weekend we went paintballing at Brailsford near Ashbourne. It´s really really ace and I think we´re going again in a few weeks. If you´re planning on going, here´s a bit of advice: you get the overauls, protective goggles and hood in camo colours, so when you are in the woods or crawling around in the peat bog snipping at the other team you´re really well hidden – except those who wore white trainers.
 
Anyway, it turns out that it doesn´t hurt as much as people think, just can bruise a bit if you get hit from fairly close - unless you´re Jay. First he took one right in the nads which made him jump up in pain, and then he got pelted about four times and had to go and sit down. In the last game he got hit in the head by a frozen paint ball and then didn´t come out for the rest of the weekend cos he´s got a massive lump on it. Ace!

 
Can´t be arsed to write anything else. If you wanna hear more then get down to the Hart and buy us a pint and we shall regale you our tales.

Another Monday morning rant

Dammit, I´m getting old


  • Ooooo, me knees were givin me gyp this morning

  • It´s bloody cold out there. I´d like to be in front of a nice warm fire with me pipe n slippers

  • Bloody kids! When was the last time one of them yoofs gave me their seat on the bus ay?
  • 65p for a can of fizzy pop? That´s daylight robbery luv!

I´m ace at being a grumpy old bastard!

Unfortunate Domain Names


Who Represents?, a database for agencies to the rich and famous:

http://www.whorepresents.com

 

2) Experts Exchange, a knowledge base where programmers can exchange advice and views:


http://www.expertsexchange.com

 

3) Looking for a pen? Look no further than Pen Island:

http://www.penisland.net

 

4) Need a therapist? Try

http://www.therapistfinder.com

 

5) Mole Station Native Nursery, based in New South Wales:

http://www.molestationnursery.com


 

6) powergen italia

http://www.powergenitalia.com

 

What were these people thinking?!?!