Wellsy's World

Archive for November 21st, 2005

I was waiting for the bus this morning and I saw this girl looking at me a few times. The bus turned up and she got on first. I got on and was thinking "Hmmm, flirting, how does that work again? Oh yeah, smile at her" so I did. Then she sneezed at me. Damn I´m good.

 
Oh yeah, there was a cowboy on the bus with a southern (UK) accent. Weird…

Mr. Lee was terribly overweight, so his doctor put him on a diet.
 
"I want you to eat regularly for 2 days, then skip a day, and repeat this procedure for 2 weeks. The next time I see you, you´ll have lost at least 5 pounds."
 
When Mr Lee returned, he shocked the doctor by losing nearly 20 pounds. "Why, that´s amazing!" the doctor said, "Did you follow my instructions?"

 
Mr Lee nodded. "I´ll tell you though, I thought I was going to drop dead that 3rd day."
 
"From hunger, you mean?"…..
 
"No, from skipping."…

This weekend we went paintballing at Brailsford near Ashbourne. It´s really really ace and I think we´re going again in a few weeks. If you´re planning on going, here´s a bit of advice: you get the overauls, protective goggles and hood in camo colours, so when you are in the woods or crawling around in the peat bog snipping at the other team you´re really well hidden – except those who wore white trainers.
 
Anyway, it turns out that it doesn´t hurt as much as people think, just can bruise a bit if you get hit from fairly close - unless you´re Jay. First he took one right in the nads which made him jump up in pain, and then he got pelted about four times and had to go and sit down. In the last game he got hit in the head by a frozen paint ball and then didn´t come out for the rest of the weekend cos he´s got a massive lump on it. Ace!

 
Can´t be arsed to write anything else. If you wanna hear more then get down to the Hart and buy us a pint and we shall regale you our tales.

Dammit, I´m getting old

• Ooooo, me knees were givin me gyp this morning


• It´s bloody cold out there. I´d like to be in front of a nice warm fire with me pipe n slippers


• Bloody kids! When was the last time one of them yoofs gave me their seat on the bus ay?
• 65p for a can of fizzy pop? That´s daylight robbery luv!

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What were these people thinking?!?!