Wellsy's World

Archive for December, 2005

Are you sitting quietly class? Then we shall begin. First, it takes at least two people weighing at least 11 stone to tip over the acerage cow. You need to push the cow at the top of its side and quite quickly to get it to tip over.
 

The second problem is that cows don´t sleep on their feet, they only doze. This means you have to be quiet when you sneak up on it.
 
Also, be ready to run. I´d be pissed off if a load of drunken student pushed me over while I was having a quick kip.
 
That´s enough of this drivel, I´m off to the pub.

… finally remembered what it was I was gonna put on this morning.
 
I´ve updated the videos bit so that the first page just displays the list of all the videos so you don´t have to go through them all to find something.

… or that´s what Scriv said on Monday night.
 
Can´t remember what I was actually gonna put on here now so that´ll have to do. Coffee time.

Me and Tony were on about the CrushCalulator test (email me and I´ll send you the link if you want) and who had done it yet. I told him who had and he asked me who Acey was so I sent him a link to one of the photos on the site.

 
He sent an email back asking why Clint was stalking her with a baseball bat. Its a good point….

Just found this while doing some… er…. research:
 
 
"A survey of 95 male students found that those who preferred small breasts were more likely to be religious, less likely to drink and smoke and more likely to be depressed. Social scientists have found that men prefer breasts that are larger than women…"
 
There was more but I only copy and pasted that bit for some reason.

"Nice pants, can I talk you out of them?"
 
"You?r eyes are like wrenches, everytime I see them my nuts tighten."
 
"Your face or mine?"

 
"I lost my teddy bear, will you sleep with me?"
 
"So…. do you come here often, or wait ?till you get home?"

I got into the center of Derby about half an hour early for the bus because I had to go to the bank (ah, the burdens of having a company to run) so I had to kill some time.
 
I decided to get something to eat cos I hadn´t had time to eat all day (ah, the burdens of having a company to run) so I went the take away and did the usual of staring at the board for five minutes then ordering donna meat and chips anyway. That stuff really shouldn´t be eaten sober.

 
A bit later I was wandering round and realised I can´t remember being at work yesterday (maybe I shouldn´t BE running a company).
 
Oh, and when you shout my name and I ignore you, I´m not ignoring you, I´m hung over. Always. For ever.

"Was it difficult getting into those jeans? Can I try?"
 
"Oh baby, you look so good I could drink your bath water!"
 
"Why don?t you sit on my face so that I can eat my way to your heart."
 

"Hi, my name is Scott, but you can call me milk ?cause I?ll do your body good."
 
"Do you sleep on your stomach?" "Can I?"
 
"Thats a nice dress. Can I talk you out of it?"
 
"Excuse me, do you want to go fuck now, or do I owe you an apology."
 
"Hey babe, I have clean underwear on."
 

"Want to go back to my place and talk about math?" pause for questioned face… "We?ll add you to me, subtract our clothing, divide your legs, and multiply."
 
Man: "Do you want to go get a pizza and fuck?" (assuming woman says no) Man: "What?s the matter…You don?t like pizza?"
 
"Miss, If you?ve lost your virginity, can I have the box it came in?"
 
A classic from the movie Fletch: (to girl in towel): "Excuse me, could i borrow your towel? My car just hit a water buffalo"

 
"I?d look good on you"
 
"Why don?t you come on over here, sit on my lap, and we?ll talk about the first thing that pops up"
 
"I bet you I have more pubic hair than you"
 
"Do you know how to use a whip?"
 
"I?m in the process of writing a phone-book. May I have your number?"
 
"I love every bone in your body – especially mine"

 
"Hi! Can I buy you a car?"
 
"My face is leaving in 10 minutes. Be on it!"
 
"I?m new in town. Could you give me directions to your apartment?"

Don´t ask how I found this. I sometimes find some random stuff when I´m searching t´interweb:
 
"Oral sex can cause infection. Who needs an STI in the mouth? Flavoured condoms are like sweets which don?t rot your teeth. Fabulous."

 
http://www.bbc.co.uk/teens/girls/sexloveandlife/agonyaunts/drmel/faq_oralsex.shtml