Wellsy's World

Archive for April, 2007

Yup – summer is on the way and for the second year running we’re having BBQs on the park! The first one was just a warm up and as per usual, I made an arse of myself.

Me, Steve, Pete and Sarah met up at Pete’s to go and grab the BBQ stuff and some beer. We went to Sainsbury’s and got about 40 burgers worth of stuff and then couldn’t find any disposable BBQs… Great!

We ended up driving around town looking in all the garages trying to find one and eventually found one in Lumbards, right next to Sainsbury’s. Not the best start but at least we had everything now.

We ditched the car and carried the stuff down to Bargain Booze to grab some beers and then headed to the park. When we got there I dediced it would be a genius idea to put one of the crates of beer in the river by some rocks to keep cool while the barbies where warming up.

Unfortunately when I went to get a second beer I found the box had broken and all my beer had floated away! I managed to fish four out and there was two in the box plus the two we’d drank so four had floated down the river.

I found one trapped by a tree trunk just out of reach so I thought I’d chuck stones at it to try and free it. After about 5 minutes I managed to pop the can and it slowly sink to the bottom of the river with bubbles coming out of it.

Me and Clint then wandered downstream to look for the other three and found two of them slowly floating down to where the river gets a bit shallow. Both of them got stuck so I paddled in to rescue my beers and found the third one as well! I got a few strange looks from the old folks sitting by the river – possibly because they were wondering why I was in a river looking for empty beer cans – who knows.

Hopefully the next one will go a bit smoother. Lessons learned:

• Take a bucket / bin to keep the beer cold
• Don’t listen to any of my ‘genius’ ideas. Ever!

I was up a MacDonalds with my boss this morning and there was a song on the radio that I like but I couldn’t remember who it was by or what it was called. When I got back to the office I went on Google to try and find out who it was but by then I could only remember a few of the lyrics.

After two hours of searching on Google I was about ready to smash my laptop against the wall so I decided to try looking through every Top 40 hit since September last year. I finally got into January this year and then I found it:

• Keane – A Bad Dream

At this point I fired up iTunes to go and download it and at that point, after three hours of searching, I noticed I already had it…

I dediced to go outside for a fag before I hurt someone… Bollocks!

Let the addiction begin! I can’t stop playing this thing so I thought you lot could start as well

Check out the games!

Alrighty-roo guys!

I think I’ve found somewhere that should do us! It’s about 5 miles outside Newcastle which isn’t too bad but is cheap, has spaces and welcomes stag nights. Here’s the quote I’ve received:
Hello,

Thank you for your enquiry, we have pleasure offering for your stay in Newcastle the following:

Option 2	Included In Package
Date & Nights	21st April 2007 1 Nights Accommodation
Accommodation	The Dorset Arms Hotel
Complimentary	Free Entry into Nightclub, Shooter Vouchers, Free Queue Jumper VIP Passes which include discounts in Restaurants, Pubs & Clubs
Cost (PP):	£ 28.00

We organise most Saturdays a Sam Jacks Challenge Day, this is where Stags & Hens meet and have a wild afternoon, Sam Jacks topless bar entertain and organise lots of games with the Stags & Hens, there is a dentists Chair, Bucking Bronco, Free Drinks, really it’s a afternoon not to be missed ask for further details and a DVD of one of there fun afternoons.

To make a booking we require half of the total cost of weekend, this can be made by Visa Card, Cheque or Bank Transfer once deposit has been made you will receive within 3 working days your confirmation paperwork, you have four weeks before your stay to make any changes to your booking and make final payment this needs to be paid by Bank Transfer or Cheque.

We hope that the above is of interest and please feel free to call us on 0191 266 0851 if you would like to discuss the above or if you require more hotel options.

What does everyone think? Bean, I’m internet-less for the weekend so if you’re about, keep an eye on the comments and then if you need me I’ll be on my mobile (07976821186).

A husband takes his wife to play her first game of golf. Of course, the wife promptly hacked her first shot right through the window of the biggest house adjacent to the course. The husband cringed, “I warned you to be careful! Now we’ll have to go up there, find the owner, apologise, and see how much your lousy drive is going to cost us.”

So the couple walked up to the house and knocked on the door. A warm voice said, “Come on in.” When they opened the door they saw the damage that was done: glass was all over the place, and a broken antique bottle was lying on its side near the broken window. A large man reclining on the couch asked, “Are you the people that broke my window?”

“Uh..yeah, sir. We’re sure sorry about that,” the husband replied. “Oh, no apology is necessary. Actually I want to thank you. You see, I’m a genie, and I’ve been trapped in that bottle for a thousand years. Now that you’ve released me, I’m allowed to grant three wishes. I’ll give you each one wish, but if you don’t mind, I’ll keep the last one for myself.”

“Wow, that’s great!” the husband said. He pondered a moment and blurted out, “I’d like a million dollars a year for the rest of my life.” “No problem,” said the genie. “You’ve got it, it’s the least I can do. And I’ll guarantee you a long, healthy life!

And now you, young lady,what do you want?” the genie asked. “I’d like to own a gorgeous home complete with servants in every country in the world,” she said. “Consider it done, “the genie said. “And your homes will always be safe from fire, burglary and natural disasters!”

“And now,” the couple asked in unison, “What’s your wish, genie?” “Well, since I’ve been trapped in that bottle and haven’t been with a woman in more than a thousand years, my wish is to have sex with your wife.” The husband looked at his wife and said, “Gee, honey, you know we both now have a fortune, and all those houses. What do you think?” She mulled it over for a few moments and said, “You know, you’re right. Considering our good fortune, I guess I wouldn’t mind, but what about you,honey?”

You know I love you sweetheart,” said the husband. “I’d do the same for you!” So the genie and the woman went upstairs where they spent the rest of the afternoon enjoying each other.

The genie was insatiable. After about three hours of non-stop sex, the genie rolled over and looked directly into her eyes and asked, “How old are you and your husband?” “Why, we’re both 35,” she responded breathlessly. “No Kidding.” he said, “Thirty-five years old and both of you still believe in genies?

I love this! Brilliant